Troll Hunter (Trolljegeren) (8/10)

December 26th, 2011

Aw, remember those cute little troll dolls we had when we were kids? Trolls are nothing like that. I know, because I’ve seen Troll Hunter and it’s all captured on camera. And if it’s all there on film, it must be true, right?

Thomas, Johanna and Kalle are three university students trying to understand the increase in animals killed by brown bears in Norway. Sheep or unfortunate German tourists, it doesn’t matter. Things are dying and brown bears are shot conveniently near the scene so as to prove their culpability. Only, the thing is, it’s all a giant cover up. Bears aren’t doing this; they’re just being planted there by Polish immigrant bear-trappers (Poles: they're everywhere these days). No, the killing’s being done by trolls. They have to be stopped, and Hans the Troll Hunter is the man to do it.

Initially reticent about having three young adults tagging along with him, Hans has no other option but to concede once Thomas gets bitten by one. It’s Thomas’s own fault, really. He and the gang followed Hans surreptitiously up a woody lane at night time and didn’t react quick enough when Hans came hurtling down the hill at a great rate of knots. ‘TROLLLLL!!’ Kalle, the cameraman in this found-footage piece, does his best to capture the action but one can hardly blame him as he hares off just as fast as his little Norwegian legs can carry him.

Now the secret’s out – and it is a secret; the Norwegian government don’t want their citizens knowing about such horrid creatures, although you’d think it’d do wonders for their tourist trade – Hans tells the three about his occupation and about the makeup of a troll. There are different types: some are big, some bigger still, and some are bloody enormous. They are all stupid and they all hate Christians. ‘None of you are Christians, are you?’ Hans asks the three students. ‘Nope’, they gulp. One is fibbing. Later, a Muslim joins them. Will she be safe? ‘No idea’, Hans answers honestly, ‘let’s give it a try!’ It’s a good job Hans is good at his job. After all, as he says, there’s no overtime and no unsociable hours pay. A swat from a troll smarts a bit, too.

Hans’ investigation leads the gang further and further into trouble in their quest to find a) the truth and b) enough footage to sell for squillions of euros. We see trolls. Oh yes, we see trolls. I’m not as up with my Norse mythology as perhaps I should be, but I recognised enough to know that these creatures (mammals, apparently, not human-like) obey the rules laid out in fairy tales from centuries ago. Want to know how to catch a little troll? Tie three gruff billygoats to a bridge and see what happens.

The movie is rated as PG-13 for some peril (not too much) and the occasional scary monster. I think this kid-friendly rating is wise. Troll Hunter is, after all, pretty much essential viewing if you’re planning on hiking around the Norwegian woods one day. How else would you know how to kill one, or even where one might be? They don’t show up on satellite photos, and Norwegians don’t even know they exist. Film has a duty to report the failings of governments, especially when there are lives at stake. It’s an outrage, quite frankly, that it’s been allowed to get this far. Full marks to Hans, a true Norwegian hero, and his three courageous amateur documentarians for bringing this to the attention of the world. One only hopes that their country recognises them and rewards them but, I’m afraid to say, they’ve never appeared on television anywhere in the world to receive the acclaim that’s due. This cover up stinks.